Confession
by gure
Summary: How does Kenshin tell Kaoru that he ruined her favorite kimono?


Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki. 

Summary: One-shot. How does Kenshin tell Kaoru that he ruined her favorite kimono?

A/N: Wrote this for the October theme of masks over at rkchallenge on lj. This is pretty cliché, but I still like how Kenshin has an unfortunate tendency to put up a façade around his friends, and it's nice when he learns that it isn't necessary.

**Confession**

By: gure

Kenshin sat on the steps of the dojo, arms resting on knees, staring at his hands. He looked across the yard at the empty wash bucket, neatly propped against the side of the well. From the bucket, his eyes traveled to the wet laundry hanging limply from the poles. Watched the slow drip of water off the fabric to the dust below. How was he going to tell Kaoru-dono? Watching the multiplication of dark polka-dots in the dust, he sat, and waited.

Sensing her presence at the door, he resisted the urge to draw his shoulders up protectively around his ears, and without turning around simply stated, "Kaoru-dono."

Kaoru stood for a moment in the doorway, just looking at the bright, bowed head of her boarder. Then, taking her name as an invitation, she plopped down next to Kenshin on the step.

For a few moments, they sat in silence, neither looking at the other. Kaoru held her peace for a lack of knowing what to say. Kenshin, for fear of what he had to confess. Or, more accurately, to whom he needed to confess. If this had been Sano, this wouldn't have been so difficult. But Kaoru-dono, she was special. He never wanted to disappoint her.

Finally, Kaoru couldn't stand it anymore, and quietly questioned, "Kenshin?"

At her prompting, Kenshin knew he couldn't put it off any longer. How was it possible that he could face down swords and grudges and righteous anger, only to have his courage fail him at the prospect of admitting a mistake, albeit a small one, in the grand scheme of life, to this young woman? He was almost amused by his own nervousness. Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he met her eyes, and began. "Kaoru-dono...Kaoru..." Another deep breath. "This one...I..."

Kaoru watched Kenshin's face with the same fascination one might watch a train wreck. She was completely baffled by the emotions that crossed his features. There was apprehension and strangely, entwined with the other, almost a sense of amusement. She listened as he faltered, wondering at the absence of that ubiquitous honorific, the use of a first-person pronoun. What was he trying to say? She pushed aside the very strong temptation to shake him, to shout at him to get on with it.

She was also starting to get very nervous. Her palms started to sweat, and she decided to hold her hands demurely in her lap, in an attempt not to rub them dry on her thighs. What was he confessing? Was this it? Was he going to propose? Her nervousness increased tenfold. How she'd been wishing for this day! She'd been hoping for months that he felt the same way about her that she felt about him. Kaoru couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that Kenshin hadn't chosen a more romantic setting, and she wished she had worn her nicer kimono, but that was in the wash. She didn't see it on the poles, but she remembered giving it to Kenshin. No matter, they were alone, the sun was shining; it was a perfect enough time. With these thoughts in mind, she straightened her shoulders and settled in to patiently wait on her shy wanderer.

"...I..." Kenshin paused, confused by the sudden shift from concern to serenity on Kaoru's features. He couldn't begin to fathom what she was thinking, and decided it would be best to just plunge ahead. Taking another steadying breath, Kenshin looked once again at his hands and blurted out, "I ruined your favorite kimono, Kaoru. It's gone. I can't fix it. I...I'm sorry."

He looked up at her startled gasp. "You...you what?!" Her face was red and she looked like someone had just punched her in the gut. _Yeah, me. _He thought ruefully.

"Kaoru-dono, this one apologizes. It was an accident. There were birds, and droppings, and then the water, and the silk didn't take to it, and..." Kenshin's panicked rambling was abruptly cut off by the solidity of a bokken making contact with his head. "Oro!" Kenshin blearily wondered where she kept that thing. Never strapped to her back, like Yahiko's shinai, never a suspicious bulge in her clothes.

"Kenshin, you idiot! How could you! I thought...I...thought..." She trailed off, shaking her head. Kaoru sat frozen, wanting to leave, but her legs just didn't seem to work. So she sat, and wished for a hole to open in the steps and swallow her up.

Confused, Kenshin rubbed the bump on his head and looked over at Kaoru. She seemed far more upset than he'd anticipated. Sure, he'd built his mistake up in his mind, but he never expected her reaction to be this severe. She looked about to burst into tears. He couldn't have that. It would be better if she hit him again. Internally wincing at his masochistic thoughts, he tried to piece together her reaction with the sense of embarrassment that was rolling off of her in waves.

Mentally, he started ticking off points. Yes, it was her favorite kimono. He knew this. He also knew she wasn't particularly materialistic, and tended to let such things slide. He'd had other laundry incidents, and had remained relatively unscathed. What could have caused such embarrassment? Unless she was expecting something else.

That thought struck a nerve. All he had told her was that he had a confession. Had asked if she'd please join him on the porch. When he made this invitation in the kitchen, it was solely because of his own cowardice. He needed a few moments to compose his thoughts. To think of the best way to tell her about the loss of such an expensive article of clothing. Then everything had fallen apart. What if she thought... No. It couldn't be.

He looked at her again. Kaoru was still red-faced, and looked as if she wanted to be anywhere but where she sat, next to him. She clutched her kimono so tightly her knuckles were white. For that moment before he brought up the kimono, while he was floundering, she had looked so serene, so...expectant. Had she thought he was going to make some kind of proposal? To ask her for a walk or to a nice meal? More? Uh oh. Kenshin felt a thrill of panic race up his spine. He wasn't ready for that yet. There were things he needed to accept about himself before subjecting anyone else to them. But, the violence of her reaction, her expression before, those could be explained by that misinterpretation.

Kenshin felt awful. He hadn't intended to hurt her in that manner. He didn't want to hurt her at all. Ever. He put so much effort into keeping up his façade, it was such a habit, he had a hard time adjusting to the fact that it just wasn't as necessary anymore. He had already decided to stay. This was home. She was home. But she didn't know that. He had never told her plainly. He needed to do something to distract her, to make some kind of promise.

"Kaoru-dono." Kaoru bowed her head further, and her hands tightened on the fabric in her lap. Kenshin absently wondered how he was going to get out those wrinkles. A little more insistently, he repeated, "Kaoru."

At the lack of an honorific, Kaoru looked up and met his eyes. She always seemed to pay more attention when he dropped it. Good to know. Kenshin filed that bit of information away.

Decision made, he swiftly acted on it, eliciting a startled squeak from Kaoru.

Rising from his seat, Kenshin made his way down the rest of the steps, hiding a very satisfied smile. He glanced back to see Kaoru still sitting where he'd left her, looking bemused, cupping her cheek where he'd kissed her.

He headed for the dojo gate, and called out, "There are still a few items needed for dinner. This one will be back soon." Kaoru answered with a distracted, "Okay," and Kenshin quietly slipped out of the gate.

He'd probably be in huge trouble when he returned. By that time, he mused, Kaoru would have returned to her senses. She'd probably be upset by his hasty escape. Then there was the matter of the kimono. Had that bit of information even sunk in? Kaoru was sharp; she'd make time to be upset about that, as well.

Kenshin shrugged as he strolled down the street to the market. He was certain he'd return to an angry Kaoru, but it might be fun attempting to make it up to her. He continued to walk, and decided that perhaps it would pay off to let his façade falter a little more often.

10/24/06


End file.
